Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Stop Making Resolutions


We are popping into a new year, like we do every single year, and I clearly need to fill a few people in on a simple truth. 

Stop making New Year’s resolutions.

First off, no one really cares at all.  They couldn’t really give a shit if you are going to do this or not going to do that.  I promise that they will only care if you shut the hell up about your inane false promises and hopeless attempts at self-improvement(s).

 It’s like that chick who decides to quit smoking over and over and over again.  We get it, you think you care about your health, but you don’t.  You want to give up this horrible vice, but never will.  How about this for a change?  Just do it, shut the hell up about it, don’t tell anyone and wait for them to figure it out themselves.  You’ll be more like a damn folk hero than an empty promise dumb ass hoe that no one is going to listen to, or care about anyway.

Problem solved.
Or at least averted, I think. 

So, since the fall of a new year always seems to bear umpteen thousand “lists”, I’m going to do the opposite of a list, I am going to issue a challenge instead.  When someone starts spewing nonsense about a possible New Year’s resolution, call bullshit.  Explain why you are calling bullshit and when they try to rebut, tell them to shut the crap up because no one really cares anyway.  You just saved many other people from hearing a long damn line of BS, and also did the following:

  • ·         Averted the violators attention away from their self-deception
  • ·         Became a more honest person
  • ·         Saved the world


Honestly, who doesn’t want to be responsible for any of that awesome stuff?  Everybody, that’s who.
Do yourself and others a favor by following this advice to a fault.  Sure you’re going to piss off a few people along the way, but, who gives a freak?  They’re stupid lying fools anyway.

Happy New Year.

And if you are  C-Lo Green – FUCK YOU! 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Multiverse or Multi-Versed?


My dog barks at nothing.  Sure there are sounds abound and shadows along with other visuals that we share, but there is also something else.  What is that something else? I would like to know.

Or would I?

I recently had a conversation about the multi-verse theory.  The thought where multiple universes and dimensions exist all jumbled up together, layered upon each other.

My thought is, that we are never in the past or future, so what is before and after now? - and yes, the cat is dead.

Getting back to my furry little bundle of joy.  We have filters, dogs do not.  We are told what is real and what is not, ignore the rest and life is good.  There are no ghosts, only holy ghosts. Your eyes are only playing tricks on you, things don't just happen and they don't just not happen.

My dog sees into the multi-verse.

He has no concept of time, therefore, no filters.

Then again, he sniffs butts, licks himself and shows dominance by humping shit in a nonsexual  manner, so what the hell does he know anyhow?

Apparently a lot more than I.

Knowing this


I see you,
Hiding behind your self deception.
Using it as a shroud of what is right and what is  just.

I see you,
Growing fatter
Expanding and bloating,
filling and gloating
Unwell.
Soon enough to pop

I see you,
Spiteful and catty
Grimy and filthy
Kissing the asses of asses themselves

I judge you
As you judge me
With only one difference
I'll tell it to your face

So eat your shit
Spoon it down.
Preach your shit
Write it down
Yell it out or whisper it in corners
knowing this,
Your Jesus would be ashamed