Stop Making Resolutions

We are popping into a new year, like we do every single year, and I clearly need to fill a few people in on a simple truth. 

Stop making New Year’s resolutions.

First off, no one really cares at all.  They couldn’t really give a shit if you are going to do this or not going to do that.  I promise that they will only care if you shut the hell up about your inane false promises and hopeless attempts at self-improvement(s).

 It’s like that chick who decides to quit smoking over and over and over again.  We get it, you think you care about your health, but you don’t.  You want to give up this horrible vice, but never will.  How about this for a change?  Just do it, shut the hell up about it, don’t tell anyone and wait for them to figure it out themselves.  You’ll be more like a damn folk hero than an empty promise dumb ass hoe that no one is going to listen to, or care about anyway.

Problem solved.

Or at least averted, I think. 

So, since the fall of a new year always seems to bear umpteen thousand “lists”, I’m going to do the opposite of a list, I am going to issue a challenge instead.  When someone starts spewing nonsense about a possible New Year’s resolution, call bullshit.  Explain why you are calling bullshit and when they try to rebut, tell them to shut the crap up because no one really cares anyway.  You just saved many other people from hearing a long damn line of BS, and also did the following:

• ·         Averted the violators attention away from their self-deception
• ·         Became a more honest person
• ·         Saved the world

Honestly, who doesn’t want to be responsible for any of that awesome stuff?  Everybody, that’s who.

Do yourself and others a favor by following this advice to a fault.  Sure you’re going to piss off a few people along the way, but, who gives a freak?  They’re stupid lying fools anyway.

Happy New Year.

And if you are  C-Lo Green – FUCK YOU! 

Dawning of 2012

Here we are at the dawning of the new year, as I reflect . . . Okay, now that's over with, let's move on.

2012, potentially the end of the world, the last days. This, according to the Mayan calendar is the modern paradigm, the thought process if you were - but 'I'm-a gonna looks at it this-a ways'. To start, our society dumps a lot of money and credibility into this kind of potential famine. We have to, it's in our nature. Panic is brought on by what is unknown, this is well documented and dates back centuries.  "Oh my hell! Here is something we do not understand! Well, let's sacrifice another virgin" - thereafter, the virgin is sacrificed and all is right with the world. Now-a-days we are more sophisticated in our panic and means to panic. Sacrifices are no longer practiced and we are far more advanced, right? We have technology to prove it. Or is it that we use technology to enhance it and utilize it's reach exacerbating the panic, spreading the panic, televising the panic, forcing the issue and sharing the horror! We develop television programs, watch the programs, talk about the programs and sheepishly agree with the programs! Read the papers, the articles, the blogs, visit the sites, our beloved news programs! - all the while remaining calm? What the fuck?!?

Shit!

Whew, pardon the poor sentence structure and punctuation there, I got all panicy within this reflection. So, with all that said, I better get to my point before I stroke.

I vividly remember and survived y2k. 12 years ago, times were much simpler and more pure right? Whatever. As a survivor, life continued on, my computer at work reset to 1986 and I set it forward - with no end in sight I sobbed: "How could you do this to me?" I cried, "if I had known I would have taken 1999 more seriously."

Having this past experience under my belt allows me to be more knowledgeable, balanced and wise. No longer will I panic at the foreseen demise if mankind, I shall be logical and calm in the face of adversity during these end of times. So, logically, I did some research.

The Gregorian calendar is off, yep, off. Probably by a couple if decades, plus or minus, in some direction. So there is a 50/50 chance your end of times has since past or hasn't yet occurred, either way: win/win. Every year the Gregorian calendar ends and the next day, it starts over. Perhaps the Mayan calendar just 'starts over'? I Dunno, just a thought. The Mayan people were great, this is true. Great astronomers, engineers and architects, this is historically proven. However, not so great when the Spaniards came to visit, and oh yes, do I need to revisit the ritualistic sacrifices et al? And finally my research brings me to modern times, my phone. Our newfangled modern communication devices that double as our computers and 'master schedulers'. By the way, there is a calendar on there, and mine ends on December 31, 2037 - oh my. So here is to the new end of modern civilization: 2037! I will be sure to alert the media.